Written by Chris Wassel | 23 March 2008

Good morning everyone! It is time for everyone's crazed version of that show you see on ESPN but its all hockey...and no filler!

ITS TIME FOR HOCKEY ARROOOOUNNNDDD THE HORRRRNNNNNNNN!!!!!!


BEEP! BEEP!!!


Now your host with 80% less hair than yesterday......Chris Wassel


Okay folks you know the deal.....bring it hard...bring it clean and keep your fists up. It could get muddy in here.


INTRODUCTIONS:

By all means introduce yourselves.

I am The Stein... the original Stein, accept no substitutes. But you may call me Justin. Some people call me "Maurice", but that's a different story. I've been a hockey fan for almost 30 years, and an opinionated one for over 15. I've seen hockey when it was good (pre-Bettman in two Original Six barns) and bad (since February 1, 1993). I've played it, I've seen Lord Stanley presented twice, and I nearly got kicked out of the 2004 Draft for giving Gary Bettman the business (hi Uncle Gary!). I've been a Capitals fan since I started following hockey, and was even a full season ticket holder for one season when I lived in Richmond, VA. 110 miles each way to the DC Metro every game, and I only missed one home game that year... because I was in Phoenix visiting my father and caught two Coyotes games.

Hello everyone, I’m Scott. Better known to many of you as Satirious. Maybe I’ll explain that one of these days during the off season when everyone is REALLY bored.

I am Erik Carlson!

The Mac....no additional words needed here!!!

FIRST WORD:

A bit of an icebreaker question here.....okay much has been ballyhooed about your host's use of the word divisional gauntlet. What do you folks think of it? Does it really fit the time of season?

I think it's the one thing out of the scheduling changes that actually makes sense. It puts a big emphasis on Divisional play and builds Divisional rivalries when you spend the last two weeks of the season battling each other for pride, as well as the Division championship so you make it to the playoffs, in the case of the Southeast. It's not as meaningful as earning the Division title in the playoffs like it used to be, but it's a better way to end the season than by going out on a random road trip to the other Conference. -- Stein

It is a very fitting way to describe it. Especially when you look at the fact that each team fighting to get in, or stay in the playoffs finishes the final weeks against division only teams. And take into consideration the losses that the current leaders have had against the basement dwellers in their respective divisions. New Jersey and Detroit are perfect example. To this point Detroit has played hell getting wins against its division opponents. They have had the hardest time against Chicago and Columbus. And not doing much better against Nashville and St. Louis. New Jersey has yet to snag a win against the Rangers. They have done better against the Flyers, and a little but not much better against the Islanders. The Penguins will obviously fight to the death in these final days. Do any of these thing risk either team from being pushed from the playoff race should the trend continue? Not at all. Could it give early round playoff opponents insight into how to beat them or boost confidence going into the first games? Damn skippy it will. As for the teams fighting to make it in. These last few games are not only going to make them earn that spot. But prepare them and give them the confidence to contend with the more favored teams. -- Satirious

It fits extremely well. I've embraced it. In a form of my usual light-hearted humor, I even put up a YouTube video in a pre-game thread of a dude playing the theme from the video game Gauntlet on guitar to kick things off, if you will. Thinking about it now, though, it delves deeper in that than most realize: a fight for a playoff spot, the division title, the CONFERENCE title in some cases, and division-heavy schedule between now and the end of the season to survive your goals. -- Erik

In a word, yes. I’m not sure I want to jump in the middle of some kind of semantic argument, but if the word “gauntlet” is meant to describe the excitement we are about to witness then I’m all for it. With the divisions being this close and all of the teams playing each other, these final games have turned into a “playoffs before the playoffs”. I personally enjoy the college hoops tournament that goes on this month… but there is no way I’m going to miss one of these games in the Atlantic or the Northwest for some basketball. Excitement like this is great for the growth of the game. I am looking forward to hockey’s version of March Madness. -- The Mac



NEWS OF THE WEEK:

1. St. Patty's Day was on Monday.....beer and hockey go hand in hand so what is the best St. Patty's Day game you can remember ever seeing?

It's St. Patty's Day... if you remember seeing the game, you aren't having enough fun. I have fuzzy memories of quite a few Bruins games though. Which may or may not have been on St. Patrick's Day. It's Boston, practically every day is St. Patty's Day in that town. -- Stein

March 17th 1996, and I can’t for the life of me remember who was playing. This was a most memorable game because I spent the day on a riverboat docked in the Mississippi river at a special meet and greet with Stan Makita. I still have the hockey stick he autographed for me that day. The game was on 6 big screen projection monitors. After more than a few tall Jack Daniels, and getting a chance to pick the brain of Stan Makita during the festivities. Who remembers who was playing that day?
-- Satirious

Honestly, I have a lot of good hockey memories over the years, and one particular good memory of St. Patrick's Day (seeing Puddle of Mudd @ the Chance in 2004), but the two for me don't intertwine. I wish I could give a better answer than that.
-- Erik

Beer and hockey do indeed go hand in hand… sadly I’m too drunk on Saint Patrick’s day to ever remember any of it. Plus, I’m not going to try to compete with Stein on hockey history. I do remember a street hockey game I went to see on St. Patty’s day in 1996 or ’97. They had a keg of green beer, and my friend Jim and I wanted to drink it. It was memorable because the goaltender for one team pounded a beer every 10 minutes… and any time he was scored on. With each beer he got better, and by about 45 minutes into the game he was a brick wall. Then he threw up in his mask and that pretty much ended that. Good times. -- The Mac

2. Ok...the obvious one....Chris Pronger was suspended over the weekend for 8 games for stomping Ryan Kesler....alright the question isn't did he get enough? But is this really the strongest sign that Colin Campbell needs to get shitcanned?

No, he didn't get enough. Chris Simon got 20 for stepping on another players shinguard. Pronger got 8 for looking down and deliberately stepping on a players' leg. If he had stepped much harder, Kesler could have had some serious and potentially permanent damage. Just because he has the last name "Campbell" doesn't mean he knows squadoosh about hockey. Throw out the whole lot of them from Bettman down and bring in people who know and understand hockey, people who appreciate, and more importantly, respect the history of this game... as well as know how to make the game exciting for new fans. I don't know what the owners were thinking in '93, but you aren't going to find someone with any of those qualities working as David Stern's coffee boy in the NBA. -- Stein

I do not see as we need another reason to confirm the necessity for the replacement of Colin Campbell. This situation does nothing more than reaffirms what we all knew about this administration and certain above the law players and teams. There will always be “golden boy” exceptions under this administration. The one game sit downs that Pronger received during last years playoff run should have been more than enough to show that Aunt Betty wants another dynasty and he has chosen the quackers to be that. Every thing that can possibly be done will be done to make it as convenient as possible for Anaheim to repeat. And the NHL is not even trying to be reasonably eloquent about their desires on this issue. Even the latest NHL newsletter contains an article about how long it has been since there was a repeat cup holder. More than a few of these have been popping up as of late. So this suspension, the obviously inadequate officiating and many other little things spell out very clearly that a decision has been made as to what is in the best interests of the NHL from a marketing stand point. Either the Ducks repeat or Betty’s golden boy Crosby walks away with the cup. -- Satirious

I think that while Campbell has his role in all of this, he's not the only one on this "star favoritism" thing. While nothing is out there about what I'm about to suggest, I wouldn't be surprised at all if Bettman pulled the strings on swaying Campbell into making this suspension 1/4 of what the Chris Simon incident was. Either way, Campbell blew it here. Big time. If Bettman doesn't let him go after this, even if he didn't play office politics on this one before the decision was handed down, then that's just guilt by association. -- Erik

The disparity in how punishments and suspensions are handed out in this league is pretty much laughable. I wish I could say it is unbelievable that Simon got 30 games for doing the exact same thing, but I don’t. I think it is totally believable. The main consideration in every punishment handed down is the perceived reputation of the player, and not at all what he did. If you look at it from that twisted perspective, you can see how Campbell finds it more important to have Pronger playing in the playoffs then he finds it to send a message to the league that this conduct is unacceptable. Suspending Pronger for 30 games (the only sensible thing to do) would have been the perfect chance to send the message that this behavior won’t be allowed… and not having Pronger for the playoffs would have showed the league exactly how serious they were about it. Campbell missed that chance… I hope we don’t see any serious injuries because of it. Also, the fact that Brian Engblom said that the punishment was correct because “games are worth more this time of year” is more disgusting then his haircut. -- The Mac

3. San Jose is 11-0-1 in its last 12 games? Do they really have what it takes with Brian Campbell to come out of the West unscathed? If you don't think so...then who will bite them?

If we played "If the playoffs ended today", the Sharks would go up against Vancouver, who they swept during the season this year. Going by trends like that at the moment in the West, they would likely meet up against the Stars, since they've owned the Ducks this year. The Stars could be a big surprise out West, right now they're the one team that I'd be worried about if I was a Sharks fan, even more so than the Wings. If they get past the second round, the sky's the limit for Crazy Ron and the boys. Yeah, yeah... Detroit broke the 100 point barrier again, but they also play the Blues 8 times a season. -- Stein

Call me paranoid, but if the standings remain as they are currently. The Sharks will face the quackers in round 2. I’ll be shocked if Anaheim doesn’t win and Pronger or Getzlaf doesn’t put at least one of the Sharks primary players in the hospital before the second game is over. -- Satirious

It's clear that Campbell has been a difference for the Sharks since his arrival, as they've been doing a "quarterback by committee" all season. And even then, they were at the top of the Pacific for most of it. So with that said, they can definitely make a VERY serious run through the West. The Red Wings, obviously, would give them the most trouble, but that would also depend on if Dominik Hasek's can hold up the grueling playoff schedule. If they have to rely on a recently-struggling Chris Osgood, the Sharks have a better chance of overtaking them. So as of right now, if things remain status quo, I'd say the West would come down to those two, in a 7-game series, and it'd be a pick-em in game 7. -- Erik

First of all, on behalf of the Flyers I would like to say “you’re welcome” for getting the Sharks started on this winning streak here. The last time we saw them, they were on a losing streak. The most impressive part of this streak to me has been the Shark’s defense with Campbell, and Nabokov in net. They have kept every team to 2 goals or less except that offensive powerhouse Minnesota (sarcasm) and that offensive powerhouse Montreal (not so much sarcasm). Their ability to outgun the Habs was impressive on another level, but I digress. Whether or not they finish out the season on this streak… good defense, great goaltending, and the ability to win close games are aspects of teams that win Stanley Cups. I think it is a safe bet to assume this team will go deep in the playoffs… I give them a better chance to come out of the West then Detroit with their questionable second half of the season and recent playoff history. Since you’re asking, I do not think they will come out of the West unscathed. They will most likely drop one to Los Angeles as they look by them to the playoffs. -- The Mac

4. Sidney Crosby is out until further notice after his ankle swelled up last week. Do you think he was rushed back and do you think the Pens are better off without him right now?

Of course he rushed back. I don't blame him though, he's still a kid and wants to help his team toward the playoffs, especially since he has that C on his chest. That said, I don't think there's an athlete out there who hasn't come back before they were 100%, but when it comes to your lower body, you can't be too careful in making sure you're ready to go, especially in sports like hockey where you rely on that part of your body for quick direction changes. Personal feelings aside, I hope he learns from this experience and remembers it for future injuries. If he matures out of this, it'll go a long way towards truly being one of the greats... which contrary to what the league says, he isn't. He's not even three full years into his career, he's got a long way to go before his accomplishments can be mentioned in the same paragraph as most anyone in the HOF. -- Stein

Crosby was obviously rushed back for whatever lame brained reason. That said, I do think the Pens are better off without him right now. Malkin is playing like the superstar that he really is without Crosby there to push him to the back of the bus, and the entire team has really stepped up and shown what they are made of. True Stanley Cup contenders. I am not at all suggesting that Sid isn’t important or that he is in anyway replaceable. But in his absence, the team has moved past just being the supporting cast in the Crosby show. And it gives Sid a real chance to get 100% for the playoffs. Whether that continues after his return is yet to be seen. -- Satirious

Maybe a little bit, but it was his own fault in the first place for not looking where he was when he slid into the boards to sprain it and brace himself for impact. I know about his passion. His wanting to get out there and play, but right now, the Pens have proven that they can win without him. Malkin especially has really stepped up his game, their supporting cast is good, and probably most importantly, the reason they're where they are now is their goaltending. Conklin definitely deserves being nominated for the Masterton. So in the end, Crosby should just sit out, let his ankle heal, and basically think about long-term in doing so. He doesn't have to worry about winning the Cup this year; he'll have plenty of chances in his career. -- Erik

It doesn’t take a doctor to figure out that Crosby was brought back too early. His ankle swelling up makes that clear enough to everyone. I don’t blame the Penguin’s staff completely for this though… say what you want about Crosby, but the kid is a competitor. If he was rushed back, it was because he just couldn’t wait to get out on the ice. If there is any blame on the Penguin’s staff, it is because they should have told Crosby he was being a goof and made him stay out until the thing was properly healed. Of course the Penguins have been better without Crosby, they have a better record… and in the games where “half a Crosby” returned they looked like garbage. There is NO reason for the Penguins to play worse with him in the lineup. Crosby, no matter what I (and many others) say about him, is a premier player in this league. He is also their captain. If this team plays better when he is not around, it is his leadership, not his play, that needs to be improved. However Therien plans to solve this riddle, he needs to do it without splitting up that Malkin-Malone-Sykora line. That line is sick, and the chemistry in it has helped Malkin show off his impressive skills, which were mostly dormant for last and most of this year. If it wasn’t for Ovechkin looking like he has mutant powers Malkin would be running away with the MVP talk this year. -- The Mac


OVER/UNDER (1 go bye bye)

The winner of the Eastern Conference will finish with 104 points.....over or under and why?

Just under. I think the Devils will hit 100 points. They have 10 games to make 10 points to reach 100. With Philly's latest problems, combined with the Islanders packing it in for the season (2-8-0 in their last 10), that should be at least six points right there. The Penguins and Rangers will give them hell the last couple weeks of the season. The Devils have 13 points in their last 10 games, I see no reason that will vastly rise or fall. Put me down for the Devils getting 103 points. -- Stein

Under for sure. The Devils and the Penguins are neck and neck for the best shot at 104. But, as previously stated, the division rivals are going to take a few of those games away from them. The Devils will have to go 7-3 in these last ten games to make that 104. I just don’t see it happening for them. -- Satirious

***The host has pulled out the mute button on Satirious for not touching the Habs or Sens.*****

I'd say under, but not by much. In the case of the Devils, winning 7 of the next now 9 is doable. It's not saying that the Habs can't get 7 of the next 8. They've been just as hot. The Pens have 9 left, too, and they've been doing well w/o Crosby. And the Sens are still in this by a thread. It's all gonna come down to the head-to-head, and that's where things will get a little more spread out. And I think that because of the head-to-head, the conference winner will fall just short of 104. Like 102 would be my bottom number estimate. -- Erik

Under. For the Habs, Devils, Penguins, or Senators to reach that number they would have to win almost every one of their remaining games. Mathematically, the Habs need 12 out of the remaining 14 points, Devils and Pens need 13/16, and the Senators need 15/16. With nothing remaining but cutthroat divisional games, I don’t see that as being probable. Also, because the Habs and Senators, as well as the Devils and Penguins, will each be playing each other twice… those divisional games include games against the premier teams in the conference. Those that aren’t against premier teams, will be against teams fighting for their playoff lives. -- The Mac

Round 1 Scores:

Stein -- 31
Satrious -- 30
Erik -- 30
The Mac -- 34

Well sadly we have to say goodbye to someone and with the tough judging today...Erik sadly lost the tiebreaker on the icebreaker. Bye bye Erik...make sure you crack the whip as the Devils walk home from Pittsburgh today.

OUT OF BOUNDS (1 more gets a big boot in the arse)

Two teams came from out of the depths to climb into playoff contention.....the Florida Panthers and Edmonton Oilers. Florida has a better chance of making the playoffs but if Edmonton does....would it be out of bounds to consider Brian Burke's facial expression of horror as his 1st rounder for Penner turns into a mid rounder?

Anything that hurts Brian Burke's feelings and drives up the use of Tums and Alka Seltzer in his house is fine with me. But he can take comfort in the fact that, despite picking up 16 points in their last 10, to make up seven points in nine games, just for a chance at 8th, will be a huge feat when they're looking up at the entire Division. Even if COL, VAN and CGY split the remaining games between each other coming out of the next two weeks the Oil will have to win out for a chance, especially having to leapfrog two teams and Calgary having a game in hand. So Penner is probably still theirs for the taking. -- Stein

Out of bounds, no. Priceless, definitely. But anything that makes Burke cringe is priceless in my book. I just hope that Aunt Betty and Colin Campbell are in the owner’s sweet with him when it happens. So they can share the agony together.
-- Satirious

Yeah, that makes their decision to let him go look a lot less smart. A $4.2 million a year cap hit was a lot to ask for a twenty goal scorer… but with 3 now mid round picks, it is unlikely that Anaheim will be able to draft a player with similar talent. Penner is a young scoring talent that started off strong and will only get stronger, the Ducks will be kicking themselves for being so frugal if they wind up with a couple of busts. -- The Mac

Round 2 Scores:

Stein -- 8
Satirious -- 7
The Mac -- 8

And now Satirious must say goodbye....see what happens when you don't answer a question completely...even if it was a couple questions back...it may come back to haunt you. May your fantasy hockey leagues go well but your run on Hockey Around The Horn ends now!

Start the horn for the final showdown......where's that damn red goal light?? Maybe it got lost in Pittsburgh last night.

THE FINAL SHOWDOWN (Sorry no cute graphics here just hockey!)

1. Has anyone figured out why VS. and NBC has to cram the same teams down our throats the last month of the season. Don't you wish there was some variety in the tv schedule?

First off, NBC is a bit worse then VS at this… but that is because VS shows a good bit more games. As a fan of an Atlantic division team, I don’t have a lot to complain about here. The Flyers are on VS and NBC all the time, almost as much as the Rangers. It seems like their idea here is to play teams that have a large following in the US because they think those teams will bring in the largest ratings. If that is the case, where are Minnesota, Detroit, and Colorado? They also seem to want to show us the biggest young NHL stars. If that is the case, where are Columbus and Chicago? There is really no reason to continuously show the teams they do other then blatant stupidity. Get with it NBC, no one out west wants to watch the Rangers every Saturday… and us folks here in the East would really like to see some Rick Nash and Jerome Iginla. -- The Mac

You mean like some western teams? That would be nice not only for variety, but also if Betty wants to expose more people to hockey, he shouldn't try to do it at 9am PDT on a Sunday... but I digress. But yeah, NBC lately has felt more like the Penguins network. Pens/Caps, Flyers/Pens and winding up Rangers/Pens this coming Sunday... I call BS on that, especially when (go ahead and call me a homer) there's a player in DC that's on the verge of making history. Spread it out to Versus, and it's just as bad. Four of the seven remaining announced games on Versus feature Atlantic Division teams, three of them head-to-head tilts. I'll lay $10 down that the "TBD" game on April 1st will be Pens/Rangers from NYC. I understand the want/need to market Crosby, but there are 29 other teams that deserve national exposure as well. -- Stein



2. Now that a good 3 weeks has passed since the trade deadline....is there really a clear winner and loser? If so...who?

Teams that were buyers were buying to get into the playoffs. Teams that were sellers got young players and draft picks that won’t pan out until early next season at the soonest. There won’t be any clear winners and losers until we see how the playoffs pan out, and where some of these possible rental players sign in the offseason.
If you force me to, I’m going to say San Jose were winners as Campbell has really solidified their defense and is over a point a game with the Sharks… and Pittsburgh are losers because the huge trade they made addressed a area that they needed no help in, and they are still left with questions on defense. -- The Mac

I have to say it's a tie between the Sharks and the Capitals. Campbell coming to San Jose seemed to be that last piece of Wilson's puzzle that could push them all the way to the Final this year. And in DC, watching them play in front of Huet, there's a confidence I haven't seen in the Capitals for a while with Kolzig as their backstop. -- Stein

3. The season is hanging in the balance...your team is slipping out of the playoff picture....you need a goalie that can not only get you in the playoffs but can steal you a round or more? Ok who do you got and why?

This question depends on how realistic this needs to be. Can I time travel and get Bernie Parent in 1975? Probably not.
The goalie of the future is Roberto Luongo. That is the guy you want to build a franchise around. But if I was trying to steal a round in the playoffs, I would want someone with more playoff experience. The guy playing today that best fits the description you made is Martin Brodeur. There isn’t a goaltender today that has experience more playoff success then that man. There are times in the playoffs where Brodeur is simply unbeatable. If you want playoff larceny, Brodeur is the guy with the rap sheet you’re looking for. -- The Mac

Brodeur. Even finding a way to play 94 games out of an 82 game season, he's still the best in the game, especially when you look at his results over time. -- Stein

Now with our new improved bean counter (an abacus)....here is the showdown scores.....

The Mac -- 8
Stein -- 7

And in the slimmest of margins...The Mac WINS! Alright the big man is going to get a special blog for his facetime that will air soon on The NHL Arena Program.

First off...Stein wanted to say something in his goodbye....

Let me just say the league is broken. The points system is broken. The shootout is broken. The disciplinary system is broken. This league has been on a slippery downslope ever since that idiot Bettman threw the names Norris, Adams, Smythe and Patrick in the trash and renamed the Divisions. 15 years have only proven that the league can be expanded without actually marketing it to a larger and more diverse audience. Attendance is up? Of course it'll be up when you add 492 more games per season compared to 1992 to bring people in the gate. Bettman has to go, Campbell has to go, throw the bums out and get an administrative structure that has a clue how to administer and market hockey. It did just fine in the 80 years before Bettman, reverting to a lot of that won't hurt things.

Once again...I wanted to congratulate The Mac on a hard fought victory as he entered into the pit of despair with 3 other combatants and came out well...relatively unscathed.

Coming next month: Episode 7 where the ladies will get their much anticipated say.

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